To be honest all I wanted to do this year was progress with my new job, read 52 books in 52 weeks, and be a better, more outgoing person in general.
Well I’ve read 1 book and I’m still an asshole. Bummer.
Anyway, normally I treat reading books like I do my life at the moment; I skim read parts, never finish anything, and get fuck all out of the whole experience.
Hoping to change that though. 1 book under the belt and I’m feeling cautiously optimistic – that’s why I’m here. The first, and most resonate of all the chapters, was on hedonism. What is hedonism you ask? Well let me just pull the wikipedia definition for you: ‘Hedonism is a school of thought that argues that pleasure is the primary or most important intrinsic good. A hedonist strives to maximize net pleasure (pleasure minus pain)’. Or, the way I care for it, basically someone that strives to derive as much as possible out of every moment with a reckless lack of foresight.
I didn’t just arrive at this point by reading that book though. It’s 3 in the morning and I’ve been binge watching that ‘Girls’ show by Lena Dunham. If you don’t know her, she’s the creator, writer, director, and star of the show. The shows basically about a bunch of twenty somethings trying to navigate life around New York. The main character, a writer, is based on Lena Dunham and her own experiences. She writes essays on her own life and basically lives her life the way she does, as a hedonist, in order to gain more experiences she can write about. You can see how subversively meta that is, but what’s more impressive is that it spans 4 seasons.
Now this got me thinking, what interesting things have I done recently that could translate into an essay or an episode – absolutely fuck all. This is about the point I realised, through much self deprecation, that I’m wasting my life and I have nothing to say. I don’t want to be the guy that’s always saying “not much, you” when asked what’s new. I do not want to be that trivial.
The point of this is each week to become better, a promise to myself.
I will have something to say in 52 weeks when I’m 52 deep, riddled with hedonism and no longer an asshole.
Then I will write something interesting.